Understanding Funerals

A funeral provides more than an opportunity to remember and acknowledge the deceased.

It allows gathered family and friends to comfort and support each other. For this reason it is important not to deny anyone, including children, the opportunity to attend and participate in the funeral service.

The funeral is the occasion when the deceased moves away from the land of the living and into the land of memories. Participating in this physical separation helps family and friends admit to themselves, however hard it may be, that someone they cared for is no longer with them. This acceptance of death is a very important part of the grieving process and helps family and friends start rebuilding their lives.

In many ways a funeral teaches us more about life than it does about death. It reminds us to find time now to share, to love and to laugh with those we care about.

There is no need to hurry a funeral. When someone dies, many people feel an urgency to organise the funeral as quickly as possible. In grief it is often hard to think clearly so take your time and do not feel pressured.

Funeral Details

A funeral arranger will assist in planning the funeral with you. Some of the details which need to be addressed are:

• Whether burial, cremation or mausoleum crypt is preferred.
• Which cemetery is preferred.
• Will the funeral service be held in a funeral home chapel, cemetery chapel, church or other place.
• Whether a religious or secular (civil) ceremony is preferred.
• If there is a particular person to conduct the service e.g. clergy, civil celebrant, minister or relative.
• The time and day which would be most suitable for the service.
• If a viewing is required.
• Whether the deceased needs to be embalmed.
• How the deceased is to be dressed.
• Selection of coffin or casket.
• If any memorabilia is to be placed in the coffin/casket or used at the service e.g. war medals, etc.
• What kind of death notices are to be inserted in the newspaper.
• If mourning cars are wanted.
• If floral tributes or donations to foundations are preferred.
• What kind of music (if any) is to be played.
• If catering is required.
• If pallbearers are to be from family or friends.
• If a photo of the deceased is to be displayed.
• Whether audio visual equipment is to be used to record the service or play a video of the deceased during the service.